longing

Memory and Hope

You look back to yesterdayWith a bittersweet melancholyYour name emerged thereAnd mother and father and brother and sisterThe childLove and hatePerspective and visionSurviving as hopeInto today and tomorrowAs these dreamscapes A sadness appearing, about what seems to have goneForever? The same place in the dreamscapeis the torture chamber of abandonment and abuseLoss and failureA graveyard… Continue reading Memory and Hope

Longing will lead youTo your deepest desiresAnd darkest nightmaresMove you through a worldThat doesn’t existBut it’s so vivid Whenever you are closeThink you are thereFinallyYou got itThis is itNowIt will break youAgainAnd againAnd again When your hand reaches out to graspThis treasureAnd take itHomeIt reaches into nothingTo graspTo holdTo get Trying to take the stars… Continue reading Longing

All of this

All of thisIs itThis painThis fearThis loveThis ecstasyChasingEscapingKillingBirthingWelcome and abandonmentLonging and lossBeginning and endingFluid and indivisibleMeetingItselfIn war and in peaceIn loveCollapsing Do and don’tYes and no Thrive and declineFalling apartBeComingTogetherNo one and each other Here and nowAnd nowhere

Only ever this

What’s going on? I don’t get it. Do I ever get it? This. I want to understand. I’m so close, I’m almost there. I feel it. Just this.I want to grasp it, touch it. Want to make it mine. So badly. Liberation. The end of suffering. Happiness. Joy. Illumination. My birthright. When did I lose… Continue reading Only ever this

Against the wall

Just before I woke up, the dream was still so beautiful, and then came the shift. I dreamt you were there, and you, and you, and you. A feeling of connectedness beyond all loneliness. In my human life this was a rare feeling, and I felt all the more arrived and accepted. No longer an… Continue reading Against the wall