Memory and Hope

You look back to yesterdayWith a bittersweet melancholyYour name emerged thereAnd mother and father and brother and sisterThe childLove and hatePerspective and visionSurviving as hopeInto today and tomorrowAs these dreamscapes A sadness appearing, about what seems to have goneForever? The same place in the dreamscapeis the torture chamber of abandonment and abuseLoss and failureA graveyard… Continue reading Memory and Hope

Just be (better)

Sometimes I wonderIf I just have to endure itThat, what temporarily appears unbearable, hopelessAnd that the idea, any other way could be betterIs just an illusion And sometimes I’d just like to escape, run away, disappear From what appears,Be it called memory, emotion, realityYou, me, the other, the worldThisWhat is I want it better Thirsty… Continue reading Just be (better)

Liberation for no-one

The idea of enlightenment often comes with the expectation of liberation and healing from all kinds of human suffering, be it trauma, sickness, grief, or loss. It doesn’t. Enlightenment doesn’t happen to someone; rather, the “person” disappears and is seen for what it is: a fictional character based on memory, conditioning, and belief. “I am”… Continue reading Liberation for no-one

It should, shouldn’t it?

The lifestream doesn’t provide a home for ideas of what should and shouldn’t be. Those exist as mental fabrications, but immediate aliveness doesn’t manifest through the concept of should or shouldn’t. It doesn’t prefer birth over death, growth over decline, or health over disease. Aliveness isn’t an exclusive appearance of heavenly happiness, it encompasses devouring… Continue reading It should, shouldn’t it?

Death Sentence

Death is one of the most feared ideas among human life forms.It seems to be the end of life, the ultimate loss, annihilation.To utilize and deal with this fear, a lot of beliefs were created, some to comfort, others seemingly to exercise control. But life cannot die. It goes on and on and on, changes… Continue reading Death Sentence

Maculate

The silence is deceptive,You think you are there now,You got itYou have made your homeAnd the ground appears secure Time seems to have halted,Conserving this illusion of permanenceNowYour determination and intention are your currencyYou did the workYou paid the bills There has to be equilibrium You lean back and look into the futureFor the first… Continue reading Maculate

Longing

Longing will lead youTo your deepest desiresAnd darkest nightmaresMove you through a worldThat doesn’t existBut it’s so vivid Whenever you are closeThink you are thereFinallyYou got itThis is itNowIt will break youAgainAnd againAnd again When your hand reaches out to graspThis treasureAnd take itHomeIt reaches into nothingTo graspTo holdTo get Trying to take the stars… Continue reading Longing

Losing

It wants youAliveIn its vast emptinessIn its abundant impermanence Writing its storiesAbout lifeformsAnd their deforming Birthing and thrivingDecline and annihilation The darkness around you holds the lightAbundant lightYou cannot seeThrough your minted eyes Wanting to winthe warof the mind But there is no warIt’s already lost Your memory is vividThe terror, the loveThe beautySurreal Transience… Continue reading Losing

All of this

All of thisIs itThis painThis fearThis loveThis ecstasyChasingEscapingKillingBirthingWelcome and abandonmentLonging and lossBeginning and endingFluid and indivisibleMeetingItselfIn war and in peaceIn loveCollapsing Do and don’tYes and no Thrive and declineFalling apartBeComingTogetherNo one and each other Here and nowAnd nowhere

Only ever this

What’s going on? I don’t get it. Do I ever get it? This. I want to understand. I’m so close, I’m almost there. I feel it. Just this.I want to grasp it, touch it. Want to make it mine. So badly. Liberation. The end of suffering. Happiness. Joy. Illumination. My birthright. When did I lose… Continue reading Only ever this