The center of emptiness
But there is no center
It’s a bottomless hole
The utter terror of unheard needs
deprived of loving nurture and a warm environment
born into starvation
It’s swallowing me for as long as I remember
So I succumb and gulp down everything I get
Without discernment
Pain, memory, sensation, attention
of all kinds
All-you-can-eat
the garbage I feed myself with
to survive
self-hatred, misery, agony
the news and the past
fear and anxiety
cultural conditioning
lies, beliefs
mindless consumption
plastic love
Toxic
all around
again and again
Heaviness
A futile try to escape the vortex
that pulls me into the abyss
motionless
this is not grounding
All feeling is lost, since long time
I have no boundaries
I know no boundaries
I am worthless
I am lost in fleeing this nothingness
I am nothing
Feed me