I am a mystery to myself
I do not know who I am anymore
Direction disappeared
Just one is
I am alive
Life breathes through me
Deeply wanted, for I do exist.
But my existence is unknown.
I am not the name I respond to when spoken to.
I am not a person behind the name, only a phantom.
There is no identity.
I do not have a name.
Temporarily expressed by an xx/xy chromosome determined organic body.
Yet I am neither a woman, nor a man.
Man is a temporary appearing life form.
These cells are carriers of information, memories, life stories.
I am not the cells, although I permeate them.
I am neither history nor memory.
I am not the biology.
I do not have gender.
I have no race.
I have no affiliation.
I have no attachment.
I have no purpose.
All of these are brief sparks in the ever-changing thought-stream of the vibrant mind.
I am alive in transient form.
In its ability to transform,
immortal.
I roam this fantastic realm
Thought upon thought
Emotions upon emotions
The fabric of which narratives are written,
Into the mind
Into the cells
Into matter
Emerging
And dissolving again.
In this divine dance
In which I can neither be seen
Nor touched
Not to be fathomed
Never understood
I am in this abysmal love
Alone
Forever unknown
