Depression is a very common sensation during a Dark Night of the Soul, but also in a “normal” life that is not aligned with one’s true nature. The tight life and work schedules nowadays make it very difficult to find out and get in touch with one’s genuine life purpose, beyond the matter of just simply functioning for earning a living. During an awakening process, such can create real havoc.
As there can be many reasons for depression, like conditioning out of past experiences, depression needs to be handled in the presence with awareness when it occurs. There’s nothing to change in the past anymore.
Negatively perceived experiences in the past conditioned the brain in its thought process, also its biochemistry of feelings. Fear and anxiety become part of the programs which can easily be triggered and then create a reality one just feels like wanting to escape from. Depression’s main characteristic is a deep feeling of being separated from the life force and unity awareness. Distractions to cover this lack of connectedness and vibrancy often lead to addictive behaviours, not always necessarily the obvious substance abuse, but also work-, sex-, sports addiction, addiction to shopping, things, people, behavioural patterns. When existing in such reality life can appear heavy, dark and swallowing and the personal world is then based on the perception of scarcity instead of abundance.
The ground depression grows on is the feeling of a lack of connectedness. The feeling of being separated and isolated can become extremely absorbing. One says “I am alone”, “I am depressed” which creates a not just subconscious identification with a limited feeling of being, while its original nature is not a feeling but a state of being, untouched and unlabelled. So when one says “I’m feeling depressed” or “I’m feeling alone” it makes it more clear to the mind that feeling is not being and the confusion of the mind can become less.
So the process of reprogramming can start with the awareness that one is not the feeling, nor the perception, neither the past experience that programmed the feeling. When observing one feels depressed one time one can also realise that one felt already happy another time. Or bored, lazy, excited, in love. Feelings are nothing stable, nor controllable and constant, they come and go like thoughts. When becoming aware that feelings are not one’s true nature but a temporary, more or less intense appearance, the strong grip of a steady identification which attaches the being to the feeling, can slowly lose its determination of reality.
Identification is one of the main sources of suffering and the root of feeling separated and isolated from the whole. As the nature of feeling is volatile, attachment to any kind of feelings, be they positively or negatively perceived, can create an unbearable life reality. The feeling of being in love e.g. will fade away as well as the feeling of grief. However, the attachment to the first makes it difficult to let it go when its time has passed, which creates resistance and then suffering. Also the latter, the attachment to the feeling of grief creates resistance – one wants to be happy instead and rejects the temporary appearance of grief – which creates suffering. So attachment and resistance are bond to each other.
To get out of this vicious circle, which can lead in extreme shapings of depression to self-destructive and even suicidal thoughts and behaviour, one needs to become aware of the true nature of feelings and their origin. When the attachment is too absorbing, inspiration, support, and help can be deeply needed while working on detachment.
Detachment from all kinds of identification is the key to grow into a life that holds real freedom, love, and lightness within.