Life invited me to encounter and immerse myself in many of its shapes and appearances, letting me experience many of its mysteries, between abyss and bliss: trauma, addiction and intoxication, “incurable” disease and disability, a love of a mother, otherworldly joy, bliss and interconnectedness, immanence and transcendence, marvel and states of enlightenment.
Experience, observation and interpretation became a foundation of apparent knowledge and understanding, of patterns and cycles and correlations, with insights so profound that left me with a seemingly deep understanding of “this is it”.
I could see how everything appeared to be interrelated, in utter complexity and utter simplicity. And the deeper the understanding, the greater the shadow of the unknown. The more I seemed to understand the mystery, the more it dawned that this one I took to be myself, the one apparently understanding, is rather a fiction, made up from memory and conditioning through experience. This one is deeply intertwined and part of the mystery that arose from no beginning and will never find an end, any solution, any dissolution, any revelation, it can never comprehend or illuminate itself.
When understanding morphed again into the unknown – sublime, embracing and familiar -, questions became silent and answers lost all their meaning. Nothing can really be said, yet stories can be told and written, paintings created, songs sung, music composed.
This space here is like a little Boudoir, an invitation to wander through the unknown, through what can not be grasped, life’s transient shatterings and blessings, a starry night sky, stars twinkling for brief moments through the void.
