With the shift, identity is gone.
I remember, I was, I had many names, roots, origins. A life story, multi-dimensional.
They all gave me apparent affiliation, and alienation, a longing for an imaginary way and place home. A deep longing for belonging, to a tribe, to something special, alien to this apparent world I didn’t understand, that didn’t understand me. Feeling alienated was a characteristic of this fabricated persona.
The shift took it all, annihilated all imaginary grounds and roots and origins, and left me, not even alone. There is no counterpart to this. I cannot fathom it. It is unknown, and although memory of me is a vivid story, it’s like the movie has ended and as the lights in the cinema turned on, the screen became empty.
Hope and vision and healing and goals and achievements turned into empty shells. The miracle is raw, simple. Just this.
And while the for ultimate truth seeking mind tries to dissect all for comprehension, it gets lost in complexity, that comes with the perceived interconnectedness and fabricated patterns.
Obsessively it can try to grasp all the recognized symbols and synchronicities, and create a story of wonder and truth, revelation and supreme understanding: this is it! I got it! Liberation! Enlightenment!
The shift ruthlessly washed it all away, transcendence did not spare knowledge, all apparent insights and answers revealed themselves as mental fabrications, without substance or significance.
Knowledge, insight and their narratives cannot give relief for the apparent self, that is invaded and devoured by this sublime and unfathomable aliveness, that has never been separated from what is, no matter how it is named, loved, hated, wanted, rejected.
This void the shift brought has no qualities, no properties, no characteristics. It was not sought after, not expected, not imagined.
It just is, and it is not.
