It seems like a volcano wanting to erupt out of you, you feel the heat rising up inside you and the urge to just react to this impulse puts you under intense pressure. You have to pull yourself together now, and you tear and tear and tear and then it tears you, apart. A thousand images and thoughts and feelings flood you uncontrollably, they arrange everything exactly as you have learned to see it; you are left behind, accusing, the finger pointing at you, the finger pointing at the others.
This is reality, and yet nothing is more unreal than this. You tremble under the pressure of your failed self-control and seek and seek and seek. For understanding, for comprehension, for liberation; and turning in circles you cannot get out of your thoughts. Every answer, every realization another limitation, another illusion, another insignificance.
The voices within you are clear confusion, speaking past, future, fear and morality, your common sense and judgment, your intuition and experience, your knowledge and your lived and unlived feelings. They all tell you about reality as it really is, what to do, what to be there, how to be there. Show you the way, the way you hallucinate, which you call your way. And then you find the truth, suddenly. Crystal clear it reveals itself.