What is it? And how to get it?
Category: Who am I
Light sparkling Darkness
From the darkness, I am bornDestination unknownEmerging from the formless into formShifting matter – no matter I am the sunriseThat wakes you from your night dreams I am the high noonIn which your sleep turns into a volatile shadow I am the sunsetTurning the vibrant bright light into twilightTo bring it back home to its… Continue reading Light sparkling Darkness
Mystery
I am a mystery to myselfI do not know who I am anymoreDirection disappearedJust one isI am aliveLife breathes through meDeeply wanted, for I do exist.But my existence is unknown. I am not the name I respond to when spoken to.I am not a person behind the name, only a phantom.There is no identity.I do… Continue reading Mystery
Testimony #I
I have never really aimed for anything in “this world”. I never really felt any meaning or purpose in this existence. It was heavy, sad, depressing, downweighing. Humans were no beings to trust, no matter how much I loved them, or how dependent I was on their love. Also, I was a human. When I… Continue reading Testimony #I
Just a Visitor
Not from here, not from thereComing from nowhere,Never going anywhereEmerging from no ground,from anything into nothing,remains it finally unnamed. Never rooted here, never thereTransient motion and form,merging into volatile manifestation,a dissolving dream.I don’t belong anywhereAttachment teaches about pain,When transience changes and takes awayWhat became so familiar,surrender Sensation sparkling up for a second,all there is,to be… Continue reading Just a Visitor
Ready
I’m living on the edge of nothingness. I’m tired, tired of engaging, participating in any temporary illusionary phenomena, no matter to which idea they may belong. There’s just no desire for anything, anymore. Just breathing, sensing movement, vibration, pulse, sound. Awareness. This tiredness is not of heavy nor lethargic nature, don’t get me wrong. It’s… Continue reading Ready
Awakening from Trauma
Gabor Maté is one of the most inspiring and wise professionals for me when it’s about trauma and its effects on cultural and individual health/condition. His wisdom and knowledge were a light shining through the darkness of my subconscious while processing and releasing childhood and epigenetic trauma. In the video below he refers especially to… Continue reading Awakening from Trauma
What disability taught me
The experience of (temporary) severe disability guided me into real embodiment that is not dissociated anymore, that is literally not able to run away from what is. That is able to stand still and in awareness with what is. It is a humbling experience that reconnected me to grace, to the lifeforce, sheds away layers… Continue reading What disability taught me
Instant #0
There is a space where I don’t exist,I am lost.I can’t go there, no-one can go thereJust nowhere to enterNo matter how deeply I search,No matter how deeply I crave,No matter I,I am not.I, falling apart,I did not vanish,I did never existI am dreamt existence.Dreaming in lucidity,Dwelling in shapes like made of fluid, colored glass,Gazing… Continue reading Instant #0
Phoenix
Down, on the very ground, covered by the white ashes remaining from the inferno that burnt down everything. Everything I was. Everything I thought to be. Everything you thought I was. Everything I believed in. Everything I hoped for. Everything I dreamt of. Be it the wild glorious and dark pessimistic dreams of the future,… Continue reading Phoenix