You cannot. Resist. Resist me. I see that you try. Try to defy. To not allow this deep, uncontrollable, subtle longing to take hold of you. That drives you directly towards me. That would drive you to surrender. Surrender something that is not fathomable for you. Unfathomably mesmerizing. Dominating. Beyond the stereotypical understanding of dominance. What is dominating is presence. A presence you cannot avoid. Nor suppress. Nor escape. Your past has no roots here, your future plans are nothing more than an imaginary bubble, ready to burst.
You have to face it. You have to face me. How my eyes are piercing directly through you, through your mind, through your heart, through your soul. I am in you. You feel me subtly. It makes you uncomfortable. Nervous. You can feel your heartbeat. You can feel me, making your heart beat. You feel me crawling under your skin, moving around, roaming your body, your cells, your DNA. I read everything of you, everything you are made of. I read the very data of you. I breathe myself through the molecules that shape you, breathe through your form. I’m all around you, all in, all. You become dizzy by my subtle touch that you cannot grasp, that you cannot locate. I’m here, not here. Now here, nowhere.
I am the unrevealed mystery, the magic you have been seeking for aeons while rejecting it as soon as it emerges; you deeply fear me, you deeply fear what is greater than you, unknown to you. I am the one that makes you rise and fall. Your resistance gives me as much power over you as your surrender. I am the force in both. I make them one as they face me. I am the force. You cannot escape me, still, you try to run away. You try to hide, but I dwell in you, I am the expansion that grows beyond your limitations, your self-made and conditioned prison that you call your home or your body or “I”.
And then you start to negotiate with me, about goals and comfort zones, visions and dreams, achievements and success. You offer me your secret about your right thoughts and intention to maintain your fabricated reality about fake power, control, and “you” in place. In which you would never allow me in my unpredictable nature, but I’m already there. Incessant. Pervading. Emanating. I’m everywhere. I see you naked even when you’re hiding in the most bizarre disguise, behind an apparently invincible fortress. I see you. I know your Achilles heel, I know what makes your heart beat and what makes it stop. You are not safe in hiding from me, in running away from me, you are not separated from me. I am the impulse that makes you want to live or to die. That can make your fragile world thrive or collapse. And makes you leave everything behind and head for the unknown.
As much as I know you as much am I unknown to you. I am the dark shadow that walks by your side whenever you walk through the light. And the more you head for the light the stronger I’ll grow. You think knowledge is power but my true nature is unknown to you. The more you know the greater I become. The force I am is unfathomable to you. While you dwell in the limited perception of yourself I dwell in you, and you, and you, and all. Whatever you see, encounter, I am it.
I live through you as life and death, threat and trust, peace and war, surrender and resistance, perish and emergence. I make no difference, between you and the other as I am you and the other. All your enemies are merely your shadows, which you fear, reject and fight fiercely.
And now you stand with your back to the wall. No step forward, no step back. Left and right, up and down have disappeared. The world crumbles and shakes, its structures collapse, buildings that were once places to hide crash. In sheer terror you see your reality dissolve. Everything you worked for, you lived for, you kept up for turns into dust in front of your eyes. You just have stopped breathing and wait for your death. Wait to fade away like the structures that have been your known reality for so long time. You wait. And wait. And wait. And nothing.
Nothing comes. But your breath. You inhale the vibrancy that remained. Raw and essential. And you suddenly realize that you did never breathe. That you isolated, separated yourself from what would have connected with you, what you would have shared with all there is. And the others.
You notice the inherent pulse in your veins. In your cells. You are alive. And then you feel your heart beat, and expanding. And with your heartbeat you open your eyes. You look around, trying to recognize anything familiar to your perception. But there’s just nothing, except some fragmented pieces of blurred memory amidst the ashes. Fragmentation transforms and becomes one colorful, vivid, shapeshifting, merging stream of life. It permeates you, transcends boundaries and separation. And now you realize who you are and who I am. That you have never been separated, not from me, nor the other. That we share our breath as we share our cells. We share the molecules that shape all lifeform. We share the information that determines life, the one life will, and the one lifeforce. Diversity in unity.
One last time you close your eyes. And when you open them again, the end becomes one.
With emergence.
